Thursday, July 28, 2005

Crackin' it up...

Recently I was on the bus, riding through an area of the city where many homeless youth congregate. It was about 7:00 p.m. and still light outside, when the bus pulled up to a stop. I looked over and I see this kid, with several others surrounding him, smoking a crack pipe. I stared at him, he met my gaze unflinchingly--I don't know if this was a result of the crack or a result of his brashness in general. I then looked away and blinked, because I had to make sure that this was not actually happening. When I looked back he had passed it to a friend who had his back to me, but was still positioned in a way that allowed me to see that he was taking hits from the pipe. So I sat there a minute letting it all sink in and when I 'came to', I realized that two other people had been sitting at the windows closest to them and hadn't even flinched or looked or said anything. I thought that perhaps these people had never seen people smoking crack pipes. I was appalled, this was happening in broad daylight, at the bus stop, AND these were kids. WHAT THE FUCK??!!!?? I knew others had seen this. But they were just sitting as if we didn't just see KIDS smoking crack at the bus stop.

It got me thinking about how anesthetized we are to the plights and suffering of others. I mean, I am here in Seattle and everywhere you look there are nut balls walking the streets, homeless or drugged out and there they are. Everybody just looks at them, the city, clearly overlooks them. This IS NOT liberalism, folks, this is indifference. It's not cool to have a place called skid row (road, actually) and have lots of people on the skids living there, still. People turn a blind eye to these things. This is one of the reasons, the major reason actually, I had to stop teaching. Kids suffering, not getting what they need, because those in charge want to maintain the status quo and continue to get paid their fat bonus checks and salaries...I can't take it. It makes me sick and angry. Here in this place, there is an area where all the homeless people kick it (they are all over actually but especially concentrated in the Skid Row area, which most Seattlites know as the area in and around Pioneer Square and Yesler Way specifically) and another area, the U-District, where all of the homeless kids hang out. I saw in a bookstore window that someone had published a book of photos of these children. What?!? They need homes and services and food and drug rehabilitation, not their pictures taken. Believe me I know that issues surrounding homelessness and drug addiction are multi-tiered, but they need to be addressed. It is disgusting that we live this way in the 'free' world. Even moreso, when I realized that we're pumping cash into a useless space program and, God, I don't even want to go further with this...

Anyway, you may wonder what I did after seeing the crack-smoking children at the bus stop. Well, I got up and let the bus driver know and then, I called the police, because while I have a huge problem with the po-po, I have an even bigger problem with kids or anyone else, for that matter, smoking crack at a bus stop in broad daylight.

Now, I've seen some shit, but never anything that bold even in Englewood on Chicago's southside, the murder and drug capital of the city. Come on now. You will not smoke crack at the bus stop.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Devil dogs, crazy cats, and surly bunnies

I have this thing about funny animal stories, talking animals, etc. they always make me laugh. So, I am linking to this site: Golden State

because I think the picture of the pomeranian is hilarious. Why? I don't know exactly, but everytime I see it, I laugh hysterically. By the way, the blog is good too...

I found this awhile back on Craig's List and sent it to all of my friends. Again, hilarious to me. I don't know why, but here it is...

Wacky animals. They can either tug on your heart strings or be the very bane of your existence. Either way, they are often good for a laugh. Even the annoying cats I am watching make me laugh, sometimes, after I have cleaned up the poop that the fat one (25 pounds and hey, how does a cat balloon to 25 pounds anyway? I mean seriously, stop the madness. I always say fat kids and fat animals are always the fault of the parents/owners) seems to shoot over the edge of the litterbox everyday and the hair balls that the skinny, surly one seems to be plagued with and spits all over the place. Whoever said cats were clean and low maintenance lied. Eeew.

If they were mine, they wouldn't be this way. They'd suck it up and take baths and they certainly wouldn't weigh 25 pounds. They'd more than likely be surly, though. My bunny is. But, that's good, we give each other space and she certainly doesn't shoot her little poops onto the floor over the side of her litterbox. That only happens when I don't clean it out for a week and a half or something.

Anyway, I am rambling. I'll end it here.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Reality in large doses

On my way to work I thought about a former friend who is the female incarnation of my ex. I'd known her for about 8 years and for a while, we didn't talk, because I pushed her out of my life, but she returned apologetically and I let her back in. The reason I pushed her out then and gave her the heave-ho before moving to Seattle is that everytime we were together, it ended in an argument and I always had the feeling that she held hostility towards me. I didn't think there was competition, because we were equals in terms of ability, intelligence, etc. so, I never really thought that was the issue. But there was always something and she always started arguments and was really nasty. She always cracked jokes and tried to make me the butt of them, but there was always a sharp, seriousness to them that made me believe that secretly she really hated me or at least didn't like me too much. So, just before I moved here, I let go of her. She started this huge argument during a two-day stay at her house and I said, to myself, hey, that's it. I can't do this anymore. She never apologized and I'm sure just assumed that everything was the same.

Now, this is what my ex did when I first came to visit him upon returning from France. He hurt me deeply by lashing out at me and refusing, on my final day in Seattle to spend time with me after he had promised. He wasn't feeling well, it turned out, but instead of making clear exactly how sick he was, he was mean and didn't stand up as a man to tell me A) he just didn't feel well enough or B) he just didn't want to spend time with me. As I look back, I think that he, as was the case with my former friend, just didn't really like me. There is something there that maybe even he could not articulate if asked. I say this, because in both of these cases, there was more arguing, disagreeing, and withholding of affection on their parts than could be explained by anything else. So, I have accept the cold, hard truth, I guess.

It was over with my ex and I before I moved to Seattle. I was not over him but I was over all of the possibilities I had created for the two of us in my head, if that makes any sense. With my other, former friend, I knew it was over long ago.

These are all the right steps in the right direction, I am convinced. I'm just sad things had to happen this way. It wasn't necessary, they both could have just told me and I would have left them alone without all of the strife, you know?