Old post I felt like publishing. I think this is from 4 -ish years ago, maybe longer than that...
So, I feel that I am getting better. Stabler . . . that I'm pretty sure is not a word, at least not the word for my purposes.
I am feeling better, stronger. That's what I mean. Perhaps it's the impending move along with the peace of mind that comes from knowing I'm getting the f*ck out of here. For good. Yes, I mean that. And maybe there will be more on that later.
Part of what makes me realize I'm getting better (or maybe that I wasn't as bad as I thought?) is that when I experience wacky behavior and/or reactions of other folks to innocuous interactions, I get confused and go through a list of whys and wherefores before I remember that
1) I actually don't care that much so none of it matters
2) Its not me it's them
It's been such a long road and being here has been awful. I don't yet see the good in it. I didn't get what I thought I wanted but didn't get stuck forever with all that I didn't.